I cut them off out of frustration and anger. Many of them and fallen out. I really dont know the reason why they fell out they just did. I have a few theorys but nothing solid. But what I did notice is they all fell out around the hair line. The locks were really small around the hair line and was held together by a small amount of hair. Trust and believe this was not an easy decision but I felt it was the best decision for me. I had installed 17 new locks and the other day I lost another 3 it seemed like I was fighting an uphill battle and I was on the losing end of the battle. I was missing over 30 locks and it was getting very hard to hide the fact that a cluster of locks were missing in a single area. I was doing a lot of updos but that was putting more stress on the locks around the hair line and it was starting to hurt. If I was not rocking an updo I had at least 7 hair pins in my hair to keep the missing locks from showing. It was starting to feel like a contraption instead of my beautiful locks.
Then there was the fear of looking crazy. I was scared of looking too hard if I shaved off my locks. I wanted to keep in sexy and feminine and I was afraid of all the questions I would get. I hesitated for about a week. Then my co-worker ( a man by the way) inspired to do what was best for me and what was in my heart to do. So Thursday night I ran home and grabbed a pair of scissors and cut out a chunck of my locks. Once I started cutting I could not stop. Then I looked in the mirror and saw what looked like a bald chicken. I looked at my locks in a heap on the bathroom floor and felt bad for about 3 minutes. I jumped in the shower and washed my remaining hair. OMG it was almost orgasmic.....feeling the hot water hit my scalp directly felt soooooo good. I forgot I good it felt to have water hit your head like that. I only used a dime size of shampoo and my head had leather for days! The next morning I went to the barber and she hooked me right up. I felt like a sex kitten when she was done. I also looked younger! The journey of my locks taught me that I am beautiful with or without hair. Because the begining months of sisterlocks was not easy either... it didnt look good to me until after about 8 months. But it made me find the real beauty in me instead of looking for my hair to hold all my beauty. I will rock this low fade until August then I will start growning my hair back out.
My plan is to grow my hair and rock it loose for awhile and if the spirit moves me I might lock it again. I doubt I will do sisterlocks because they were just a little to small. I may do brother locks or traditional locks. What I know for sure is that I will be natural going forward. I will continue to blog about my journey and my experience with my hair so stay turned.
